redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
