i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
