Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
