i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
