I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
