This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
