I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
