Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
