addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
