Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
