you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mom said you looked used
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
