she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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