Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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