Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
