I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We left the knife in your bed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
