Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
