In the future we'll all be gay
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
