Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
