im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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