i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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