I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
