During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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