No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
