Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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