i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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