It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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