Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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