We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it was like eating out sand paper
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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