I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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