Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
