Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
