so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
