his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
