Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
