): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
