Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
