It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
