I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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