yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
