hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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