So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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