my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
These tits shall not be calmed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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