I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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