Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
