My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
