hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
