im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
