so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it glows. i had to have it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
