We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
