I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dicks are not precious.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
